The Futile Thoughts of Man

Yesterday when I awoke, I began to look for my Bible so I could read it and spend some time with the Lord. It was soon after I was saved when I realized that when I spent time in His presence in the morning, my whole day would go so much more smoothly. Not that there weren’t challenges during the day...just that I handled the challenges much better if I had sought Him that morning. Over the years there have been weeks where I have been more obedient about this than others...some weeks I met with God daily, and some weeks I was doing great if I met with Him twice. As a young mom, it wasn’t always easy, still isn’t. His grace always covers me when I don’t get to have my quiet time. He is good that way! Praise, You, Lord!

However, this morning was different. It was a Wednesday, and as I began to look for my Bible, I couldn’t find it. Now, I’ve had this Bible for five years. It’s my study bible, so it is filled with notes and highlights from over the years. It is also filled with scraps of paper with names written on them of people that I’ve felt led to pray for, as well as some words of encouragement for different people that God had revealed to me in my quiet time over the years. There are also those papers that others have given me with a word from God on them. Those are all treasures to me, mementos, if you will, of what God has done in my life and the lives of others, sort of a scrapbook of God memories. Now I couldn’t find it.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, it was Wednesday, and when I began to think back of where I had had my Bible last, I realized it was at church on Sunday. Two things stood out to me here. The first was that there was a chance that my Bible wasn’t even in the house, and that it might be lost forever, along with all my mementos. The second screamed at me...I hadn’t opened my Bible or even thought about opening my Bible for two days! Now I already said that I had skipped my quiet time before, so that was nothing new...but it was different this time. I think the difference this time was my motivation behind it.

Yes, the last two days, I hadn’t been feeling my best. I wasn’t sick, just fighting sinus and allergy issues. I wasn’t motivated to do anything, really. However, there were some other issues buried under all the non-motivation. You see, this time, it wasn’t that I was only too tired or too busy or whatever excuse I had given before for not spending time with my God. This time, I was purposely avoiding Him. I had some sin issues that He needed to deal with, and I didn’t want to deal with them. I was shoving them under the rug, hoping that He and everyone else wouldn’t notice the big lump under the rug in the middle of the living room of my heart. It wasn’t working. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if part of my not feeling well was directly related to the sin I was hiding!

One of my sins was a pride issue, directly related to my Bible in fact. Actually, I had already asked forgiveness for it, the moment it happened. God, however, saw fit to use this situation to teach me a little something. He’s good that way.

On Sunday (the last day I had opened my Bible) and at least one other time in the last week, when I had opened my Bible and looked at all the scribbling and highlights, a flash of pride had come over me. Stupid, I know, but I admit, it did. I thought, “Wow, anyone can see that I read my Bible from all the notes I have in here! Surely they must think that I’m a really good Christian!” As soon as the thought struck me, I recognized it as sin (and pure silliness), yet God brought this back to my mind to show me something. I was completely lost without my Bible. It held keys to doors along my journey over the last 5 years! Keys that might help me walk through those doors again as God directs me for many years to come! Now it was lost! Suddenly, the true importance of that Bible came into clear focus. Those highlights and notes were not to prove anything to anyone. They were my road map, my path that I had followed with God’s direction and the path I was to follow in the future. It’s not that my God isn’t faithful enough to guide me through a new Bible, but that He was already faithful enough to give me this gift, and I was reading it all wrong, through pride instead of gratitude.

Not only that, but here I had completely ignored my road map (my Bible) for two whole days, and not even missed it! Can you imagine (before the days of GPS) if you had set out on an extended journey and ignored your roadmap for two whole days? You’d be lost...and I was. One wrong turn was leading to another and I had no clear direction. You see, my other sin was disobedience in another area. I knew what God wanted me to do and I was ignoring Him. Psalm 94 tells us in verse 7, Yet they say, “The Lord does not see, nor does the God of Jacob understand." That’s where I was in my sin, thinking God just isn’t seeing things the way I am, and I really think that my idea of how to handle things is better. Come to think of it, that’s a bit prideful, too...another wrong turn. Like I said, I was ignoring my roadmap and becoming more and more lost.

Psalm 94 also says in verse 11, The Lord knows the thoughts of man, that they are futile. I was futile in my thinking, and I was futile in my direction. In fact, I was beginning to think everything was futile in relation to my disobedience issue, and both my spiritual and physical health were showing the futility. No wonder I wasn’t motivated to do anything. It wasn't that I had no motivation; I had the wrong motivation, motivation that was futile without God guiding me.

Thankfully, Psalm 94 goes on to say in verse 12, Blessed is the man whom You instruct, O Lord, and teach out of Your law. When I sit under His instruction, I am blessed, and my thoughts and actions are blessed, not futile. My whole problem was that I hadn’t been sitting under His instruction. Needless to say, my spirit was convicted and I confessed and repented and I am being obedient to His plan, and yes, He is blessing me. Immediately He blessed me by reminding me where my Bible was. I had placed it in a bag that had been given to all the moms at our church for Mother’s Day because I had a lot to carry out of church that day! He blessed me later that day with the grace extended by the ladies in my life group, and He is blessing me as I obediently type this story...

By the way...a closing note...why all the references to Psalm 94? That was what I was supposed to be studying those two days when I didn’t spend time with Him! Psalm 94 was supposed to have been my road map those two days! God had planned for me to read those and be convicted two days ago rather than wandering in futility for two days! So, even though I was being disobedient and ignoring Him, He wasn’t going to let me miss out on the lesson He had for me, even if I missed two days of time with Him!

Ladies, even when you take a wrong turn (accidentally or purposefully); we have a GPS system, as Pastor Jimmy Evans said in a sermon not long ago. Our GPS doesn’t get angry, He just patiently and softly says, “Recalculating” and then makes sure we don’t miss out on what He has planned for us! Our God is good...and so very faithful, even when we are not! Thank You, Lord! Praise You, God!

Walking in His mercy and grace,

Jeanne